Nyrial

Money:

No matter how much overtime we put in, or how hard we work, there never seems to be enough. The first part of the month sucks regardless of course. Rent’s due, car payment, insurance, utilities, pay the sitter, buy groceries, feel guilty because I owe my mommy and daddy a lot of money and (yet again) I can’t send them any. I’m looking forward to our extra payout from Uncle Sam. We filed with Dan as head of household, the last two digits of his ssn are in the low 20s, so we should have ours by next Friday. I’m like, YAY, I can tag my cars, get my Washington drivers license, get the dogs their shots/haircuts, get Amelia birthday presents… well, you get the idea.

Time:

I’m still waiting for the invention of the 30 hour day. I have some things I desperately want to catch up on, but by the time I can think about them, it’s time to go to bed. All I want to do is sit down and spend an hour each night on poser, never seems to happen, and, when I do catch a few minutes, I’m completely uninspired.

Sunshine:

Yeah, I know it rains a lot here. I was aware of that before I moved out here, but I (and my rosebush) could use some more sunshine. And maybe about 10 more degrees outside. It’s F’ing cold.

Friends : (local)

Not downing anyone in Michigan, believe me, I miss you all so much. Its so lonely out here though. I don’t know how in the hell housewives survived in mid-century 1900s staying at home all day. It’s not that damn fulfilling. Hell, I work around other adults all day and I still don’t feel fulfilled socially. I mean, I love my husband and kids, but I need more. It makes me feel very selfish to say that too, however, a discussion on poop, and why we need to wipe afterward, with my (almost) 3 year old just doesn’t quite…do it for me. It’s practically impossible to make friends at work too, no one, and I mean NO ONE understands how I look at things. The place seriously lacks a sense of humor.

Inspiration

I have all this great art stuff sitting at home: paints, markers, tablets, ink. Of course, even if I did have the inspiration, I don’t have the time to do it.

So I figure, if I had more money, I could use it to buy time, and friends. If I had more time, I could find someone to hang out with sometimes, or maybe clean my house so that people could hang out there. If I had more inspiration, and time, I could do the things I wanted to do to alleviate the stress that’s associated with having no money. Or if I had the sunshine, I could at least pretend everything looked good.

Damn this weather sucks

I was a fool to think I could make it through the day without a disaster. After yesterday’s chaos I am completely tired out, and was ready for an easy day of laundry and last minute packing of the car. Of course I couldn’t let it be. Dan and Katie told me last night that Naggy had started shaking and couldn’t move his back legs yesterday, which I chalked up to anxiety. I mean, lets face it, he’s not the least neurotic dog in the world. Today I witnessed the same, and we whisked him off to the vet at about 3pm. He stayed the rest of the evening there, had another seizure, and is now at the emergency clinic under ICU supervision. Granted, they’re giving him good drugs like valium, so he’s comfortable if nothing else. Waiting and wondering is killing me though. I love all of my dogs, even though it may not always appear so, but he is my baby. I ask that you please keep him in your prayers tonight and through the weekend, whoever it is you may personally choose to pray to. He won’t be able to join us in Washington now for awhile, and I don’t know what I’m going to do without him.